My Fathers Day Dilemma

My Fathers Day Dilemma
June 18, 2017 Bolu Akindele

I woke up this morning not knowing exactly how to feel. Fathers Day had never meant anything special to me except, today was quite different. For the first time, I had marked today in my diary since February.

I had mixed feelings. I was happy, sad, angry, excited, joyful and enthusiastic about how the day would go. One of the projects that I had practically poured my whole being into was scheduled to launch by noon so I tried to distract myself and drown myself in work [like I most times do] but it just wouldn’t work.

Knowing myself, I knew exactly what to do in times like this – cry my eyes out till I can cry no more and I will immediately be fine but how will I be explain to my roommates that it was Fathers Day and that was the reason for my tears. Only a few people can understand. Scratch that! Only very few people can understand. So I worked harder to just put the thought away but unlike other times when this was my escape route from being in touch with my emotions, it felt like it was going to work until it didn’t.

Not too long after, I received a message from my very good friend; Wunmi Sodimu – one emotional text that broke all of my defenses. I immediately left my room for some quiet place. A place where I could be away from prying eyes, be alone in my thoughts and cry as much as I wanted to .

Somehow, I found Tony Rapu’s letter to Shanawole as well as the one-minute video and I couldn’t hold it together anymore. That was way too much. I went through my life in a bit. Thought about every single man God had brought and still brings my way to help me through every single phase of my life. Much more than the tears and the emotional outbursts, I was indeed grateful to God who gave me the first definition of what a Father meant and gave me “Fathers” whose contribution in my life have formed a large chunk of everything I know and represent today.

Thankfully, I was able to join Daystar Christian Centre’s service livestream. That worship session was something I had longed for. It was healing… The much needed healing I needed.

At that instant, I made the commitment.

The commitment to be the best father my children could ever desire in life. But much more than that: to be a Father to those whose lives are void of Fathers.

Truth be told, Fatherhood is a much more bigger investment that we many of us think. It’s one thing to be able to get a lady pregnant and it’s another to be a Father. It’s definitely not a one day process but it always gets better for those who have chosen to embark on the journey.

To everyone desiring to be the best Father to their children, May you lead a life worthy of emulation to earn you the father title. May Fathers Day mean something vauable to every seed that calls you Father

To every life void of a Father, May you find a father in God himself and may he provide support systems around you to help you through. May you in turn be strengthened to be a good Father: one committed to building nations of worth and value.

Happy Fathers Day… To you, to me, to us.

5 Comments

  1. Boluwatife 1 year ago

    And I keep getting that same feeling whenever I read this. The feeling doesn’t wear out. The words become heavier rather. God bless you dear

    • Bolu Akindele 1 year ago

      Thank you Bolu. And Amen to your prayers. May God continually keep us and give us the strength to be better people as we advance in age

  2. oknwa 1 year ago

    Bro! ?? I’m with you on this.

    • Bolu Akindele 1 year ago

      Sigh!! My desire is that we do not repeat such mistakes and that we ultimately mirror the kind of fatherhood that God, our father is.

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