I’m (finally) breaking up with Fear


I’m (finally) breaking up with Fear
August 17, 2018 Bolu Akindele
Bolu Akindele Fear

Fear is cruel.

Fear is evil.

Fear is ruthless.

Fear is a bastard!

I know fear; I have experienced fear; I have loved fear.

Fear cripples every bit of vigour;

A preying reptile that takes on the appearance of multiple personas — doubt, insecurity, indecision and sometimes, even certainty, to give a sense of charm.

In the day, he caresses with soft-spoken words on the couch.

With staring eyes as if to look into the soul, Fear mumbles incoherent words.

One day, he’s the comfort on numb nights.

On the other, he’s high on dreams crumbled.

I know the hands of fear.

In a cuddling embrace, fear would remind me of how much more we could do together.

And bare under the sheets, he’d take me to his sunken place reigniting our nuptial vow.

Those are the times when only the warm hands and comforting words of Fear mattered.

And while the moon slept, and the sun prepared to dawn, we traded dreams.

His for mine.

For long, I convinced myself this wouldn’t hurt.

It was just fear, I could control it.

Besides, it felt too good to be harmful.

Then the sun shines and fear has morphed.

He’s now the winter’s snow where I wanted the sun’s warmth.

He has come to put a nail on my coffin; keep me down forever.

But, now I know better.

And I am breaking up with fear.

I’m unlearning the habits of fear.

Slowly, yet steadily.

I’m taking a long, long walk with Faith and this time, I hope to never return.

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